Thailand Miscellany

I arrived in Thailand a couple of days ago. The last two times I came here as a dental tourist. This time it's tourism period.
The first clue that things are worse now than before was the midday taxi ride from the airport taking only 35 minutes instead of an hour. Despite the crappening economy combined with political upheaval that has devastated the tourism industry, Thais nevertheless manage to maintain their famous smiles. I think it's a Buddhist thing.

Before coming, I did my due diligence by reviewing emails I wrote during the last two trips. I apologize to those who've already seen them but there's some new material too.

Food

First of all, putting a fork in your mouth is considered gauche. The fork is used to pick up food to put on the spoon which goes in your mouth. OK? Do I sound like your mother? I meant to.

McDonald's has a service here called "McDelivery." A simple phone call and within minutes you'll be devouring a double whopper with cheese, jumbo fries and a 36 oz. coke without having to lift your supersized ass off the couch to go get it.

Royalty

Thailand is a constitutional monarchy. The current king, Rama IX, has been on the throne since 1946.

It's not only bad manners to diss him but it's a crime called lese-majeste. A government official was accused of that crime last year but published reports about it can't tell us what the guy said. That, too, would be lese-majeste. The king here is beloved. That's genuine.

Mostly, the king stays above the political fray using his moral capital only to influence events when truly needed.

Politics

Ok, you heard about the shutdown of the Asiatic summit, the wild street demonstrations, the closing of the airports and all that. So what's it all about?

Back in 2006, the Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, was deposed in a military coup. Viewed as the savior of the rural poor, Thaksin's political support came from peasants in the north. As much as he is loved up there, he's disliked in Bangkok. He's now on the lam having been convicted in absentia on corruption charges. Opponents of Thaksin didn't like his successor any better. This precipitated street actions by the yellow shirts who stormed the government house and shut down the airports thus killing the tourist industry. The yellow shirts won and drove Thaksin's successor from office. That was in 2008 or 2551 on the Thai calendar.

In the color-coded politics of Thailand, the red shirts are the rural poor who would like Thaksin back. They were responsible for the demonstrations in the past few weeks. They scuttled the summit of Asian leaders. They haven't achieved their goals yet but demonstrations are promised this week.

While the political conflict between Bangkok and the north gets much publicity, there's been a little-known war going on in southern Thailand for the past 100 years. Malay speaking Islamists in the three southernmost provinces want to secede from Thailand. It's a bloody conflict that has claimed countless lives. About the war: http://www.patininews.net

Bangkok's New Airport Tower

Bangkok's new international airport has the tallest control tower in the world as measured from the base. Measured from MSL, that distinction probably goes to Bangda Airport in Tibet at 14,219 feet plus the height of the tower.

How to Get Your Own Pet Crocodile

Not strictly a Thailand story but reported in the Bangkok Post.

In case you're wondering where your next pet crocodile will come from, don't give it another thought. Crocodile Cambodia will ship 18 eggs with incubator wrapped in a paper bag to any address in the world for a cost of $2,500 USD. The accompanying instructions note that crocodiles may not be appropriate for children and may be dangerous to pets and other human beings. According to the company, ninety percent of the shipments reach their intended recipients without customs inspection.

About the Place I stayed in Chiang Mai

To the editor of Rough Guide to Thailand:
Under the heading The North-Chiang Mai-Accommodations-Moderate-Lanna Orchid Inn, please insert the following language:

"Guests of the Inn are treated to repeated pounding on a gong by neighboring monks at 4:30 A.M. to mark the beginning of the new day. Every day. For this service, there is no charge."

The Phone Book

Thais are listed in the phone book alphabetically by their first names. And it is common to adopt nicknames to confuse evil spirits.

OK, is this traditional massage or buddy massage?

Like many tourists, I sometimes have trouble distinguishing traditional Thai massage parlors from whorehouses. But when you're passing a massage parlor and one of the girls springs off the patio into your path and thrusts her tits into your chest asking if you want a massage and punctuates her question with a second tit thrust, then you can tell.

Albany Bulb

When I was a kid, I lived across the street from a wooded area that had a stream with a dam built by beavers. With direction from my father who knew about such things, my brother and I erected a fort in those woods but the law came and put its foot down.

When we moved to a new town, our property abutted a huge open space where a local nursery grew plants but the bulk of the space remained fallow most of the time. We built another fort. This one being underground was less likely to be detected. It was a low budget project with a hole straight down and a subterranean chamber burrowed off to the side. When my parents learned about it months later, they found it structurally deficient and red-tagged it. It was in that hole in the ground that I got the lassie across the street to give me my first passionate kiss.

Once upon a time we set the land on fire but prompt action and a garbage can full of water effectively doused the flames. No fire department needed to appear. We took care of things ourselves.

Now that open space has been gobbled up by jumbo million dollar homes each vying to out-grotesque the rest. I suspect 2.3 people live in each one even those with the four car garages.

Nowadays, a favorite pastime of mine reminscent of these childhood fantasy landscapes is to take my dog swimming at Albany beach and then go to the adjacent Albany Bulb, a spit of land that juts out into San Francisco Bay. It's a mid twentieth century landfill. Overgrown with weeds, native plants, irregular concrete slabs and twisted rebar, it's not just untamed but has a post-apocalyptic feel made more convincing by the --artful or not-- paintings brushed and sprayed onto the concrete.

It's fun to trapse through the Bulb on its irregular trails and even blaze my own trail through the high grass and uneven terrain. Many places are impenetrable to me but my dog gets to them just fine. He loves the place.

On the southwest corner stands an un-permitted user-built castle overlooking the Bay with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. The castle used to have a circular staircase but sadly it's been destroyed. No use brooding. Impermanence is the nature of things here. On the north side of the Bulb, sculptors busily construct and deconstruct pieces of work that the art police could never envision or accept. Imagine, for example, the one pictured here garnering approval from the same people who stifle the spirit of more typical parks with all of their do's and don'ts.

Detractors of the status quo complain that the Bulb is dangerous. But it's perfectly safe for people who don't stray from the trails. People who cherish safety as the paramount value have plenty of other places to go. If you're looking for a ten on the safety scale and want to go off-trail, don't come to the Bulb.

The City of Albany, clearly lacking pride of ownership, tried to give away the eight-acre Bulb to the East Bay Regional Park District but the District wanted the City to mitigate the property first. Translated from bureaucratic lingo, this means the ingrates wanted the City to haul out the concrete and rebar as a condition of accepting the gift.

The gift having failed, the City then paid a hideous sum of money (hundreds of thousands) to a corporation to come up with a "vision" for the Bulb. When I hear city officials and corporate profit-makers talk about vision, I get scared. I start to think about where the tennis courts will go and whether I'll get busted for letting my dog run free.

Keep Albany Bulb just the way it is.

Judging Judicial Perks

The San Francisco Daily Journal, a legal newspaper, published an article on April 8, 2009 that caught my eye. It's titled, "San Bernardino Supervisors Decide Not to Ax Judges' Perks." The article discusses politicians debating whether the county should eliminate judicial perks in this time of severe budgetary constraints.

Background: Superior court judges in California are paid by the state. They make $179,000 per year plus they get a good health plan and fantastic retirement benefits. If you are lucky enough to be a judge in one of 31 counties (of the 58 counties in California), the county bestows perks on top of state salaries and benefits. For example, in Los Angeles County, judges receive an additional $46,000 per annum. And judges in Tulare County get free gym memberships paid for by taxpayers. I'm in favor of judges staying healthy, but is this really necessary and is it good public policy?

Last October, an appellate court ruled that these county supplements to judicial salaries are unconstitutional because the state legislature hadn't approved them. In response, the legistature quickly ratified them and declared that counties could stop them whenever they want.

Those who defend the practice say county perks are necessary to attract competent candidates for judgeships who otherwise would stay in private practice to make even more money. I say let them stay where they are. Who are these people that we need so much, and whose competence is so great, that we should worry that they will refuse the job because they just can't make it on $179,000 a year? I prefer my judges to be people who can relate to ordinary folks who make it on far less.

Detractors, according to the article, say that judges who take county money are "double-dipping." But that accusation is both unfair and misses the mark. Judges are not fudging numbers to get more than they deserve. There's no accounting fraud going on here.

What the article misses is the more interesting question whether these judges have a conflict of interest in every case they hear in which the county is a party. If I were a litigant before a judge who accepts a $46,000 annual gratuity from my opponent, I would worry about how fair that judge could be. A judge who accepts money from a party normally recuses himself under settled standards of judicial ethics. Why is it any different if that party is the county?

One way out of this is for the judges to refuse these county perks just like they should refuse an ordinary bribe. Any judges out there willing to do this?

A Survivor's Guide to Credit Cards

A few years ago, anyone with bad credit and a pulse could get a credit card albeit with crappy terms. People with good credit could get limits many times their annual income. But we've entered a new age. With the economic downturn, banks have tightened underwriting standards, slashed credit lines, and raised interest rates and fees. This has affected even people with good credit. Understandably, banks are skittish as default rates climb to 8% or more. Never mind that these adverse actions come from some of the same banks that are deep in your pockets as taxpayers. It feels like a double blow.

Several years ago, American Express ran ads about a businessman who took his customers out to dinner only to be embarrassed when his over-the-limit Visa card was declined. But after he got the American Express card with no preset limit, this never happened to him again. That is until now.

AMEX is a good example of a company that has been freezing credit without giving notice to its customers who find out about it only after they get to the cash register. Before turning the card back on, AMEX is known to put these customers through a financial review which may include a demand for release of tax return information not from the customer but from the IRS directly. And this can happen even to people with stellar credit.

The best thing to do in the current environment is to keep below the banks' radar screen. I have synthesized the wisdom of the sages, applied it to my own situation and remain unscathed at least for now.

1. Monitor your credit reports from the three primary credit reporting agencies, Experian, Equifax and Trans Union to make sure the information is accurate. Know what your credit score is. You can get it at www.myfico.com. This will keep you from getting fleeced in any kind of credit transaction because you'll know what rate you deserve.

2. You have to position yourself in this market so that if one company jacks your rates or slashes your credit lines, you can take your business somewhere else on short notice. This means carrying several cards with different banks. If banks think you have nowhere to run, they will screw you.

3. Keep your utilization as low as possible. Below 10% is ideal. Over 50% is bad and 80% makes you an enticing target. To calculate utilization, add up your credit card debt and divide it by the total limits available on your cards. For example, if your total credit lines are $50,000 and you owe $10,000, your utilization is 20%. Higher utilization translates into higher risk and exposes you to adverse action. It also causes your credit score to dive. Banks monitor your reports on a regular basis and will take action if they see you're getting deeper into debt.

4. Pay substantially more than the minimum payment due. Banks think people who pay minimums are in distress. It's a red flag to them.

5. The conventional wisdom says you should apply for new credit only when you need it. I disagree. Only apply for new credit when you don't need it and only for the purpose of enhancing your credit profile in accordance with paragraphs 2 and 3. You'll take a minor credit score hit from the inquiry to your report but that effect will be washed out in many cases because with the larger pool of available credit, your utilization will go down. Don't ask for credit line increases on your current cards unless you are trying to restore a line that has been slashed. But you can backdoor your way into a credit line increase with an existing creditor by applying for a second card and then combining limits with the old card and canceling the new card. Don't try this right after you get the new card. Wait at least three months and then combine.

One reason why combining lines is a good idea is that it raises the average of your credit card limits. Other things being equal, a credit file with an average credit line of $15K, for example, looks more solid than a file with an average credit line of $2K. As you apply for future credit, you will get a higher line because the new bank often matches your current lines. Higher limits beget higher limits. The object here is not to use the credit extended to you. It is to enhance your profile to insulate yourself from a random financial attack.

Another advantage is that you have more borrowing flexibility with higher lines while appearing less risky. Say you want to borrow $10K. It is better to do it on a card with a $50K limit than one with a $12K limit. Borrowing on the $50K card doesn't raise eyebrows but borrowing on the $12K card might because you're close to the limit even though in each illustration you're borrowing the same amount of money.

6. Periodically, ask for APR reductions. If your FICO score is in the mid 700s or higher, there's no reason why you should pay even 10% for purchases as long as you've followed the suggestions in items two and three, above. Even if the companies advertise your card at a higher rate, the odds are good that you can get a deep discount just by calling and asking. It's possible to get standard purchase rates in the range of 4.9 % to 7% from Bank of America, Chase, Discover, and Citibank. Just use your cards regularly, keep your balances low and always pay on time.

People who always pay in full may not see the importance of this because they don't pay finance charges no matter what the rate is. But that's not the right way to think about it. Asking for concessions now when you don't need them is better than waiting until you do because when you do, you can't get them.

7. Most banks report your statement balance to the credit reporting agencies each month. Carrying even small reported balances on multiple cards can hurt your credit score. At the same time, you want to use all of your cards to keep them from getting closed for inactivity. To accomplish this, pay the bulk of your balances down to zero just before the statement cuts. The other way to accomplish this is to rotate periodically the cards you use.

8. With the zero tolerance policy for payments that are even five minutes late and the punitive consequences of paying the standard $35 late fee and having your APRs jacked into the stratosphere, it is crucial that your payments reach the bank on time. Never mail payments. Don't use a bill payer service. Either of these methods can go awry and you'll be the one paying for the bungling of others. The best way to pay is to go directly to the creditor's web site. Print out the transaction confirmation and you'll be safe.

9. Never use your cards for cash advances.

Happy charging.

Drug War Over, Drugs Win

In a live address to the nation today, President Obama announced that the United States is pulling out of the drug war. The President said the nation no longer can afford to fight a war on terror and drugs at the same time.

Seated at a huge conference table in the Cabinet Room surrounded by representative samples of common formerly illicit drugs including plants, fungi, piles of powders in various hues, bricks of hashish, and tabs of ecstasy, the President said it's time for the country to forge a new relationship with drugs. An eight foot high mother plant from Humboldt County was flown in on Air Force One for the occasion. A group of psilocybin mushrooms sat in a cool moist spot near the President hanging on to his every word.

The President said he consulted with his advisors and his base of internet users whose emails overwhelming encouraged him to take today's action. He stated he regretted the billions spent on the useless war over the past eight administrations along with the unacceptable death toll caused by aggressive enforcement and drive by shootings.

President Obama also decried the rise in official corruption fueled by the high prices of drugs. He condemned CIA covert actions bringing cocaine into the inner cities during the 1980s and police officers who made millions taking a cut from every shipment they permitted to cross the border. "Police officers stealing drugs and cash from pot clubs, dealers, and kids hanging out to blaze undermines respect for law enforcement," Obama said. By executive order, drugs incarcerated in evidence lockups throughout the nation will be released by the end of the day.

Said the President, "While some may say that the social costs of legalizing drugs will be high, I have no doubt that the cost of the drug war has been much higher. In my view, the cure has been far worse than the disease. We need to adopt a pragmatic approach that includes education and treatment. At the same time we must respect individual autonomy to make choices even if we as a society do not agree with them." The President pointed out that drug distribution to minors will remain a felony.

As a result of today's announcement, a million people locked up for nonviolent association with drugs, conspiracy, and aiding and abetting drugs during the war will be released and their convictions set aside.

"The ushering in of this new era of peace will have economic ripple effects," noted one economist. "Expect a 2 to 3% spike in the unemployment rate caused by the release of prisoners and layoffs of correctional officers. In addition, drug dealers will now have to look for legitimate work. The arms industry can expect to see a dip in sales, too."

The cost of drugs is expected to plummet within days putting armed and dangerous drug dealers instantly out of business. New products which will be subject to FDA standards for purity and potency are expected to hit the shelves of major drug chains within days. An ounce of high grade pot which used to cost $400 or more will be available for $60 and taxed under the President's plan.

With the legalization of hemp, a sturdy product which could compete with cotton but does not require use of harmful pesticides and herbicides, companies such as Monsanto and Dow which supply these chemicals to cotton growers can expect revenue shortfalls by next quarter. Shares of each were off by 10% at market close today.

Edna Haggerty, a 72-year old grandmother, housed at a federal prison in Texas for making and distributing pot brownies, was elated by the news. Until today's order releasing her, Haggerty would not have been eligible for parole until her 119th birthday. "I thought by the time I got out of here, I wouldn't be able to see good enough to find my oven much less start my work again. I'm ready to get my product moving," Haggerty said.

Star Chamber in America - Part 6

Mom and Dad scraped the money together to hire a lawyer who managed to get the boys reunited with them at the six month review hearing. Mom and Dad are working with the boys to overcome the trauma stemming from the long separation. The boys blame Mom and Dad for failing to protect them from the state. They fear every knock at the door. They are even afraid to leave the house. They avoid encounters with the police. They have nightmares.

Amber continues to make progress in therapy with Mom and Dad. Likely she will be returned home within a few months.

Proposals for Reform

1. Federal funding should be changed to encourage local agencies to provide services in the home of the family whenever possible. Currently only 11% of the funding goes to family preservation. A social worker once told me she would love to send children in one of my cases home under court supervision but there was no money for that.

2. Jury trials should be afforded in juvenile dependency cases. I think one of the problems with court trials is that unless all parties agree, judges chronically fear returning children where the evidence warrants it. The judge does not want to bear the responsibility for making a bad choice so he makes the safe choice. This violates the law which requires return to the home unless there is clear and convincing evidence that the children would be at risk if returned.

3. The dependency courts need to be open to the public. The rationale for closed proceedings is to protect the privacy of children. While this is a legitimate concern, often these children will end up testifying in a public trial where the parents are accused of crimes arising from the same acts which led to the juvenile case. The privacy rationale fails at least with respect to child witnesses in parallel juvenile and criminal prosecutions.

Even when the identity of a child is known to the media in a high profile case, the child's name usually is not disclosed.

The case for public access is that transparency will help to curb the excesses described in this series. In particular, media has a role to play in keeping the system honest. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

4. Exclusive reliance by the courts on the opinions of expert witnesses and the input of services providers on the payroll of the social services agency corrupts the judicial process. One alternative is to take the function of hiring them away from the agency and place it somewhere else so that they will not skew their reports to favor the agency. Another alternative is to provide funding for the parents to hire their own experts to rebut the experts chosen by the agency.

5. Rules of evidence which permit cases to be decided on reports rather than live testimony should be repealed. Social services agencies should be required to prove their cases in the same manner as any other litigant.

Star Chamber in America - Part 5

Mom and Dad are back at the Star Chamber for the third time. The court has received the disposition report of the social worker with Dr. Hack's report attached as an exhibit. The recommendation is for continued placement of Amber in foster care. The boys will live with the toxic grandmother. Both parents are ordered into therapy.

Dad has already started his school for sexual batterers. The instructor has demanded that he write about what he did to Amber. Dad who didn't do anything inappropriate refuses to admit that he did. The instructor explains that the first step in treatment is to overcome denial. If Dad can't do that, he cannot make progress. The instructor tells Dad that he will be reported as noncompliant unless he changes his mind.

Mom is furious. She tries to address the Star Chamber directly but instantly gets shut down because she's represented by counsel. "No, I'm not," Mom says. She goes on speaking until Judge Gruff tells her that she will be removed from the Star Chamber if she persists. Mom's attorney says nothing.

Mom and Dad have never been informed that they have a right to a contested hearing with witnesses if they want it. Their attorneys remain silent throughout the proceeding except to submit the matter on the social worker's report and Dr. Hack's evaluation.

The court orders six months of reunification services to both parents and sets a date six months away to evaluate their progress. The hearing is over in 15 minutes.

Star Chamber in America - Part 4

Dr. Harley Hack is a clinical psychologist with an impressive resume. It prints out to eight pages listing in bullet points the degrees earned, papers written, awards bestowed, and lectures delivered.

At the behest of the social worker, Dr. Hack has seen Mom twice. First to do the usual tests and then to ask questions about social and family history.

Dr. Hack sits in his den at midnight facing the computer. He pours a second shot of scotch over rocks as he warms to the task of weaving the narrative of Mom’s life to the results of the clinical tests administered in his office two days ago. Dr. Hack has prepared hundreds of these evaluations before. Cutting and pasting from previous reports on people he can barely remember, Dr. Hack can whip up a report on Mom for the Star Chamber in a couple of hours.

Dr. Hack is far more comfortable perched on Mount Olympus making judgments about parents stuck in the Star Chamber quagmire than he was as a younger doctor with a therapy practice. Back then, he mechanically passed a tissue while feigning concern for patients he didn’t care about. The patients, of course, soon realized what a fraud he truly was. After one or two sessions, most of them would let their fingers do the walking in search for a new therapist. Only the ones trapped by a court order compelling them to see Dr. Hack stayed much longer than that. Figuring there was something wrong in his style more than just the bow tie, he discovered that his talent lay in judging rather than helping.

His personal life mirrors the dysfunction that drove him away from doing therapy. He lives with his wife in a house divided. Separate bedrooms and independent lives. The marriage is held together by inertia, on life support. His grown children barely speak to him.

Dr. Hack begins his report about Mom by acknowledging that he reviewed and relied on the social worker’s twisted reports. Formulaically, he writes that "[mom] appears to be her stated age of 45, presents with appropriate affect, and is oriented in all three spheres."

In a discussion of the psychological testing results, Dr. Hack notes an elevated scale suggesting that Mom is faking good. In ordinary parlance, this means that Mom tried to impress the examiner. Although this is entirely to be expected in the case of a mother wanting her kids back, Dr. Hack chooses his words carefully to turn "faking good" into an indictment of Mom dripping with innuendo of manipulation and deceit.

Dr. Hack goes on for pages describing his conversations with Mom. He bends a few facts here and there to fit his themes. He notes that she chokes up frequently and rambles on about how horrible the Star Chamber is. She attacks the judge, the lying social worker, her inept lawyers and county counsel. Dr. Hack concludes that Mom is clinically depressed, suffers from post traumatic stress disorder brought on by the allegation against Dad and has delusional thoughts that the Star Chamber is out to get her. She is in denial about Dad’s bad behavior and a risk to the kids until she changes.

The Star Chamber will take Dr. Hack's words at face value. It will not occur to parents’ counsel that they should subpoena this guy and light a fire under his ass in cross-examination. There will be no voice to challenge the distinguished Dr. Hack.

If it occurs to Dr. Hack that Mom’s depression and PTSD might come from suddenly having cops rip away her children in the middle of the night, or the injustice of the Star Chamber in keeping them from her, or the perjury of the social worker that gave the Star Chamber the excuse it needed, or having to face this nightmare without counsel, he doesn’t mention them. He knows who writes his check. Best not to bite the hand that feeds you.