Dr. Harley Hack is a clinical psychologist with an impressive resume. It prints out to eight pages listing in bullet points the degrees earned, papers written, awards bestowed, and lectures delivered.
At the behest of the social worker, Dr. Hack has seen Mom twice. First to do the usual tests and then to ask questions about social and family history.
Dr. Hack sits in his den at midnight facing the computer. He pours a second shot of scotch over rocks as he warms to the task of weaving the narrative of Mom’s life to the results of the clinical tests administered in his office two days ago. Dr. Hack has prepared hundreds of these evaluations before. Cutting and pasting from previous reports on people he can barely remember, Dr. Hack can whip up a report on Mom for the Star Chamber in a couple of hours.
Dr. Hack is far more comfortable perched on Mount Olympus making judgments about parents stuck in the Star Chamber quagmire than he was as a younger doctor with a therapy practice. Back then, he mechanically passed a tissue while feigning concern for patients he didn’t care about. The patients, of course, soon realized what a fraud he truly was. After one or two sessions, most of them would let their fingers do the walking in search for a new therapist. Only the ones trapped by a court order compelling them to see Dr. Hack stayed much longer than that. Figuring there was something wrong in his style more than just the bow tie, he discovered that his talent lay in judging rather than helping.
His personal life mirrors the dysfunction that drove him away from doing therapy. He lives with his wife in a house divided. Separate bedrooms and independent lives. The marriage is held together by inertia, on life support. His grown children barely speak to him.
Dr. Hack begins his report about Mom by acknowledging that he reviewed and relied on the social worker’s twisted reports. Formulaically, he writes that "[mom] appears to be her stated age of 45, presents with appropriate affect, and is oriented in all three spheres."
In a discussion of the psychological testing results, Dr. Hack notes an elevated scale suggesting that Mom is faking good. In ordinary parlance, this means that Mom tried to impress the examiner. Although this is entirely to be expected in the case of a mother wanting her kids back, Dr. Hack chooses his words carefully to turn "faking good" into an indictment of Mom dripping with innuendo of manipulation and deceit.
Dr. Hack goes on for pages describing his conversations with Mom. He bends a few facts here and there to fit his themes. He notes that she chokes up frequently and rambles on about how horrible the Star Chamber is. She attacks the judge, the lying social worker, her inept lawyers and county counsel. Dr. Hack concludes that Mom is clinically depressed, suffers from post traumatic stress disorder brought on by the allegation against Dad and has delusional thoughts that the Star Chamber is out to get her. She is in denial about Dad’s bad behavior and a risk to the kids until she changes.
The Star Chamber will take Dr. Hack's words at face value. It will not occur to parents’ counsel that they should subpoena this guy and light a fire under his ass in cross-examination. There will be no voice to challenge the distinguished Dr. Hack.
If it occurs to Dr. Hack that Mom’s depression and PTSD might come from suddenly having cops rip away her children in the middle of the night, or the injustice of the Star Chamber in keeping them from her, or the perjury of the social worker that gave the Star Chamber the excuse it needed, or having to face this nightmare without counsel, he doesn’t mention them. He knows who writes his check. Best not to bite the hand that feeds you.
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